Whoa.

Wow, it’s been a long time since I was on wordpress. In fact, it’s been a long time since anyone I was friends with has been on wordpress. Back then I was so good at talking to people (I’m going to guess it’s because I wasn’t embarrassed to say anything. I was so embarrassing back then thank you all for putting up with me)

this blog was one of my favorite things back when i was in middle school. I really used to like to write as if people were reading and writing back to me (it’s kind of cute)… and now i’m in my last year of high school and this blog just brought an overwhelming sense of nostalgia to me. things are so much more different now, so much more complex. i can’t say that i’ve been doing well all these years, because i haven’t. i’ve been struggling with a lot and there are periods of my time were i’ve just felt terrible. i’m not doing so great right at this moment either, but i’m hanging on, because i want to be strong and to grow and to one day wake up and just feel happy. so i’ll keep trying on that part.

i have to apply to colleges soon and i’m scared. growing up is really scary and while everyone else is really excited, i’m dying from fear over here. i’ll keep trying on that part as well, to overcome this fear. or at least, outlive it.

i checked up on some of your blogs. i don’t think i ever understood the depth of your problems when i was younger, but now i can understand. i know nobody has updated in years, and that nobody will probably read this but. but i hope that you are all well. i hope that life is treating you better than it had and that you are safe and happy. it probably doesn’t mean much coming from just a kid, but i’ll admit that when i was active here with all of you, that was probably the happiest i have ever been. i admired an cared for you guys an i just hope that everything is good now.

i don’t know if i’ll ever post here again, but i won’t delete anything. as embarrassing as it is to me, i have some really good memories here. so thank you, and goodbye.